I Could Cry, But I Could Also DoorDash Sushi
I am not coming to you today with a think piece.
No deep framework.
No “5 lessons I learned.”
I just… wanted to kick it with y’all. I’m currently writing this at 2:32 AM on a Friday. Because this week has been a week.
You know when life starts piling up quietly? Like one second everything is under control and the next second it looks like the house, the dog, the bills, your job, your hair, AND your internal emotional world all clocked in to jump you at once?
Yeah. That was me this week. I realized it had gotten bad when I looked down and I had chewed three of my nails completely off.
Not one.
Not two.
Three.
My nails always tell on me before I speak. If they’re raggedy, just know my brain is pacing back and forth inside like, “We are not okay, but we are going to pretend we are because we have things to do.”
The house was house-ing.
Meaning: chaos.
Laundry looking like a sculpture installation. Dishes forming community. (LMFAAAOOO that was a good one). Work assignments politely waiting in the corner like, “Sooo… you remember us?”
And on top of that — my dramatic shih tzu was acting like she was auditioning for an Oscar in the “my tummy hurts please rush me to the vet AGAIN” category. The vet bill almost knocked the wind out my chest.
Just a regular Wednesday.
The World Feels Like It’s Ending, Too???
And while all this is going on in my little corner, the world at large is also… doing whatever this is. Every day feels like a Boondocks episode written by someone who is tired and has had enough.
Part of me is scared.
And the other part of me is like… I’m Black. This world was built by me but not for me. I don’t know this life without resilience.
On a cellular, ancestor level, we’ve seen some things.
And somehow, we are still here.
It’s wild to realize my body already knows how to survive a world that doesn’t even try to deserve me.
There’s a strength in that.
A softness too.
So yeah the world may be glitching.
But I’m gonna survive…. I think….
The Midnight Sushi Salvation
Anyway.
Sometime around 11:47 PM Friday I hit my limit.
I didn’t cry… today….
Didn’t spiral.
Didn’t start catastrophizing the next 40 years of my life (progress!).
I… ordered sushi.
Like a grown woman who knows emotional first aid.
Shoutout to Jieyi Sushi and the delivery driver who brought not just food but stability, grounding, and hope.
Tell me hamachi isn’t a coping skill.
I sat on TikTok [watch here], eating salmon sashimi with my dog staring at me like she was the one paying the grubhub fee.
The Tiny Joys That Pulled Me Back
I’m getting my nails fixed in a few hours.
I’ve had conditioner in my hair all day, is that safe? I’m getting braids this weekend so lets warn the streets—- y’all know what that means.
Writing this I’m reflecting on how things feel… manageable. Not fixed. Not solved. But softer.
Sometimes healing is not a big moment.
Sometimes it is micro-doses of joy:
Midnight sushi
A fresh set
Warm water running through your coils
Folding one corner of one room
Your dog finally going to sleep
A deep sigh that loosens your shoulders
That’s living.
Comfort Shows = Emotional CPR
And when my brain is tired of being a person, I return to my comfort shows.
Insecure. Girlfriends. Sex and the City. Living Single.
Shows where women are figuring themselves out in real time and somehow still laughing.
Watching Issa talk to herself in the mirror always reminds me I’m not the first to feel like life is a little ridiculous.
Comfort shows are not “lazy.” They are emotional grounding.They remind you who you are when life is too loud.
I Didn’t Die.
That’s the check-in. Not a triumph story. Not a breakdown story. Just proof that stress didn’t take me out.
My world did not end because I had a rough week. My life didn’t fall apart because I fell behind. I didn’t lose myself I just… lived through it. Messy, tired, hungry, overwhelmed but still me. Still becoming. Still here.
Maybe you also had a week. Maybe your nails told your business too.Maybe your laundry is calling your name. Maybe you feel like the world is ending on multiple fronts. Listen. You are not failing. You are just alive. And being alive is ridiculous.
So tonight?
Order the sushi. Deep condition your hair. Turn on your comfort show. Breathe. Laugh. Don’t over-explain your feelings.We’re all just figuring it out. And we’re doing it. One sat a time.
